Random Musings

The ebb and flow of people is always disproportionate. Sometimes it feels like you’re the last person on earth. You try to reach out but cannot connect to anything or anyone. The world swirls on around you and you watch it. You are distant and not by choice. It’s as if you exist apart from it all. No one answers your calls or returns your messages and if makes you wonder if you have stopped existing. Maybe you only exist in other people’s heads and if they stop thinking about you then you are frozen in stasis. And then there are the other times. Where you are surrounded by people and they suffocate you. You drown in their thoughts, opinions, questions. You are so entangled in their theirness that you become a lack of you. When in one, you crave the other. Before you realize, the see-saw teeters and you are left sucking air. Gasping.