The Bristol Diaries: The Rebirth

I’m living in Bristol for the first time in four months. And, again, I have no idea how to do this. I’m living in a house with strangers in a different part of town. A part that feels alien. Meanwhile, I am so different from who I was fourth months ago that maybe I’m the alien.

In my first month away from Bristol I grew more as a person than I had in the previous four. I met people that set me on fire and had experiences that are ever present in my mind. I learned invaluable life skills and I learned how to survive alone. The last three months were filled with jam making, knitting, trips to garden centers, round house building, lukewarm showers, fresh fruit and veg, warm fires, and too much time to think. They were filled with the comfort and protection of a family.

Four months ago I left Bristol a caterpillar and have emerged a butterfly. Leaving the cocoon of predictability and entering the chaos has left me disoriented. This feels like my proper chance. Everything leading up to this just a dress rehearsal. But what if I forget my lines? What if I haven’t practiced hard enough? The fear of the unknown is still at the base of every experience. And yet I continue moving forward.    

I’m fighting every day to maintain the positivity that I know is the key to my success. Because I was always my worst enemy. But now I am learning to be my best champion. I know I am on the right path doing all of the things I’ve dreamed of. And sometimes patience is still my greatest obstacle but I’ll get there. And so the rebirth begins…