What It Feels Like

I lean over the metal double sink

feeling the edge dig into my bare stomach.

There are dirty dishes in the sink and I'm leaning over trying

not to let the watermelon juice drip down my chin.

I spit the seeds onto a dirty plate and watch them pool together.

The afternoon sun warms my skin as I look out the window. Shielding my eyes 

with my left hand I can see grease stains.

The patio is full of barbecue smoke and everyone is standing around waiting for their food.

I suck at the watermelon taking a bite full of the white, bitter stuff.

I grab another half moon slice and this time the juice drips down my chin staining my white t- shirt.

And I let it.