one comment turns into a weird look
that look gets bigger and bigger
until your heart is pounding
now he thinks I’m weird, you think
now he probably hates me, it escalates
why did I just say that?
I’m such an idiot
of course he hates me
he probably regrets choosing me
I’m so awkward, how can he stand me?
he probably wants me to leave
I don’t even want to see him anymore
replay x infinity
every excruciating word
over and over
he’s definitely going to ask me to leave
he won’t want to live with me
you accept that it’s irrational
but the thoughts must play themselves out
everyone thinks you’re weird
why can’t you be normal?
just for once, you wish, hope, dream, pray, demand
no one is ever going to love me
round and round the washing machine goes
self aware to the point of paralysis
self conscious to no end
punching myself in the stomach
but I can’t stop
when will it stop?