your brain on #anxiety

one comment turns into a weird look

that look gets bigger and bigger

until your heart is pounding

now he thinks I’m weird, you think

faster, faster

now he probably hates me, it escalates

shake, shake

why did I just say that?

I’m such an idiot

of course he hates me

he probably regrets choosing me

itch, scratch

thump, thump

I’m so awkward, how can he stand me?

he probably wants me to leave

I don’t even want to see him anymore

ever

replay x infinity

every excruciating word

over and over

he’s definitely going to ask me to leave

he won’t want to live with me

you accept that it’s irrational

but the thoughts must play themselves out

everyone thinks you’re weird

why can’t you be normal?

just for once, you wish, hope, dream, pray, demand

no one is ever going to love me

I’m useless

stir, stir

round and round the washing machine goes

self aware to the point of paralysis

self conscious to no end

punching myself in the stomach

but I can’t stop

when will it stop?